G: I’ve gone green.
B: Oh really?
G: Yeah, I’ve stopped using plastic utensils at work. Instead I just find a piece of scrap wood at work and band saw myself a pair of chopsticks. And when they get dirty I sand them down.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Birthday Presents and job aspirations for the children
RFC: What would you like for your birthday?
George: I got everything I wanted.
RFC: Okay, what would you like to do for your birthday?
George:You know, I would like a big bag of pot so I can sit in the basement all day.
Sue: You know, my friend's daughter is starting a job working on a pot farm.
...
George: Why can't one of you do that?
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Gym Membership
Friend (via Facebook Chat): Both your parents are here (the gym)!!! CHAN PARTY!
Friend: Now they are checking out the spin room. . .
RFC: Typical.
Friend: Your dad inquired about bringing his own pedals
Friend: Now they are checking out the spin room. . .
RFC: Typical.
Friend: Your dad inquired about bringing his own pedals
Sunday, August 14, 2011
George's Hopes and Aspirations for a Day off
Get half his leg waxed for $15 at the local Indian Salon. All three hairs.
George on Gender Roles and Animals.
No man should have a dog that fits in a 5 gallon bucket or 4 quart sauce pan.
George Chan: The Wedding Planner
George would like to announce that he is embarking on a new career path as a-- WEDDING PLANNER!
Please contact George at 847-644-3682 for a consultation.
- No Banquet Hall
- No Formal Dress Required
- No Church, Civil Unions Only
- No more than 50 guests
- Weddings will only be held between the dates of November 1st and March 30th in the Northern Hemisphere and March 30th to November 1st in the Southern Hemisphere.
- Parental Involvement is strongly discouraged
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Friday, August 12, 2011
George on celebrating Milestones
RCHAN: I know what I should do for my 21st birthday...go on a bar crawl down Taylor Street.
Sue: Okay.
George: I rather you sit around and smoke pot than go on a bar crawl.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Cooking essentials, NEW ADDITION
Rooster sauce....I mean...Sriracha sauce....real popular with the college students.
Wardrobe Malfunction (I mean- "Style Pointers")
"Mom has me wearing my pants longer. I don't like it. And, I've upgraded to keens"- George
Post Museum Comments
"It was a real good banister. AND that's not why we almost got kicked out. . . It's because mom wanted to touch everything" - George
Monday, June 13, 2011
Text Message Updates
RCHAN: How's your trip going so far?
RCHAN: Typical.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
George Solves the Public Housing Crisis
"The answer is to put them all on golf courses. You've got built in labor pools, green space, no where for the criminals to escape to..."
George Chan, Architecture Critic
On Frank Lloyd Wright's Oak Park, IL Studio: "it's so dark in here."
Saturday, February 26, 2011
When George doesn't do the fishing
These would be rather large fishes by George's standard. . . his are usually no longer than the avocado. . .
Monday, February 14, 2011
Just a friendly Reminder from George to take care of your Heart!
Happy Valentine's Day and
Heart Health Awareness Month!
[Please Note: Method of forming heart involved creating a mold with aluminium foil. George has not disclosed his mixing methods for the cookie batter (I.E.one bowl, or if he followed the directions.)]
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
TFTOD- Text From the Other Day with George
847: Im_____ home __call___ me ______latr
847-1: Okay i am getting on the train now
847: Otay
847: Call ____me _____ latr
Sunday, February 6, 2011
George on Foreign Relations: Italy
"The only things you need to know how to say are 'colnago' and 'masi' and 'pinarello'. And that you want a 51cm frame."
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
George on Snow Removal Techniques
Slowly but surely the snow blower will make it through the 19 inches of snow!
Monday, January 31, 2011
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Wardrobe Staples
The George Chan "Look Book" :
1. The Polo Shirt. 100% cotton. Solid colors preferred. Can be found at Target.
2. Khaki slacks. Can be substituted seasonally with corduroy slacks. Hemmed to ankle length.
3. Adidas Superstars, aka "Burnout Shoes". Preferably original 1980s issue.
ACCESSORIES
The French Beret. Especially effective for impressions of The Continental.
Single-compartment backpack. Practical. The George Chan version of a man-purse, if you will.
Corona or other branded flip flop. Often found at Walgreens or CVS in the dollar bin. Marketed to frat boys.
Some looks never go out of style.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Baking with George
G: Does this look like teaspoon to you? [Holds hand out with a small amount baking soda in palm] It's good enough.
R: Aren't you suppose to cream the butter and sugar together first. . .
G: Why would I follow the instructions? It all get's mixed together anyways and ends up in the same place. . .Editors' Note: His cookies are pretty good.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Gender Roles: Do's and Don't's
No self respecting male should ever own or walk a dog that is, for all intents and purposes, "punt-able"
Thursday, January 6, 2011
George on first impressions
Butcher knife in hand when meeting daughter's male friends for the first time.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Text messaging etiquette
It is okay to make up your own abbreviations, and they are not reliant on accepted abbreviations. For example, this entire message could have been: itz ok2mu ur own abbr n tanr on aabbr.
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